The bad part about all of it was I was answering myself. So I guess this was the first sign of going out of my mind. First, I thought to myself, ‘Can Ballard be right? Am I really nothing but a slut, a woman that lives to just fuck men?’ I said out loud, ‘Hell, no! All that is going on is you have been tricked into screwing men for his pleasure, not yours.’ Then I thought, ‘You can’t help it, you have always loved sex. Sex with Bill has always been hot. Ballard is wrong, he is tricking you into. Me and mom had moment to speak privately."How could bring dope to your cousin wedding. Do you realize you are going to prison for this. And me charged with prostitution. I'll never work again, and your father, the family..... "She started to cry. I tried to tell her the dope wasn't mine. But it was no use. She had a few months earlier caught me with my brother lightning one up.The cops were still chatting outside the car. After a moment of deep silence my mother inhales and starts to speak. I mean afterall this is your job and I think you should stay closer to Anne andHarold. It will make it easier for everyone. Besides, this pool houseis so small that we would really be cramped in here. I barely haveenough room for my things as it is. And what about Tom when hevisits? I can't have him stay in Maria's old room, can I? It wouldlook very strange if you and I started sharing the guest suite sinceit only has one bed. That would seem very awkward after everythingthat's happened so. ..She heard one of the girls from the porn say, "Oh yeah, fuck me hard." I saw her eyes dart to the computer screen and nervously she got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. Embarrassed I closed the computer and laid down in bed. When she came out of the bathroom she climbed back into bed and I got up and slipped into the bathroom. I stood in there slightly panicking and lying to myself saying she didn't hear or see anything she just had to use the bathroom. Then I heard my mother say,.
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